Why I could never be a K Drama Heroine

1.  The wrist grab drag would quickly be resolved by a kick to the back of the knee and subsequent boot stomping.

 wristgrab

NO.

2. I am a poor working class woman and I’m weird but I’m not stupid or cheerful or just go along like a sheep, especially in the face of adversity.

minnam

3.  I am a poor working class woman and I do not have designer label clothing or the latest cell phone.

segafashion

4.  I’m pretty sure when the crazy ex/wannabe gf and/or crazy controlling relative tried to intimidate me/ruin my life/simply insult me, after I stopped laughing,  I’d say yeah….see ya, I don’t need your drama, thanks.  Especially the relative, cause you know, crazy relatives tend to never go away.  Dramapeeps, if you remember anything I’ve ever said, remember 2 things:  1)Do not go into a relationship thinking you are going to change someone and things will get better, and, 2)You marry the relatives not just your lover.

mndmom

5. If someone is lucky enough to land a slap on me, well,  I am a reciprocal kind of person.

slap

6.  I don’t believe in indirect kisses or accidental kisses, so I could never think that meant anything other than oh shit I tripped and fell,  or someone is eating my frigging food right out of my mouth, wtf?   I mean, seriously, this is not romantic.  This is just stupid and probably involves a chipped tooth.

indirect kiss pinichhoOkay, I’ll admit, it’s extremely hard for Lee Jong Suk not to be as sexual in anything he does. I still hate this stupid trope so much.

7.  I own my sexuality.   Thus, if I were Naeil I’d be like “Um, Orabang, are you sure you don’t want to date timpani boy instead of me because guys want their girl to kiss them.”

8. When a guy tells me I’m ugly or stupid I don’t consider that flirting, I consider that abusive.

9.  If I had to choose between 2 guys, I wouldn’t choose.   I’d date them both.

fbrsboth(Well, if they are legal, see #17)

10.  If my boss tortured me with horrible assignments or blackmailed me,  so, yeah, that’s not going to happen.

11.  I’m pretty sure if a dude kidnaps me and I walk away from it, his ass is going to see jail time.

12. I can’t drink multiple bottle of soju and expect to not be raped or robbed, heck I couldn’t drink like that and still be alive.

13. I’m pretty sure when I say  I’m just not that into you, it does not mean it’s not really over because the other party doesn’t agree or wants to “wait for me.” Go home, the date never happened, okay?

14.  If someone has a dog chained up outside, I’d be like “wtf is that shit?, do I need to call animal control on you?”

15.  I’ve seen what the male leads pick out for the women to wear.   No. NEVER.

16.  I’d never wear high heels and totter around on a date let alone as a cop, or wear white to a crime scene or get my stilettos stuck in something because I am not a moron.

17.   I’d never date jailbait on account of the JAIL part.  I’d however never sweat the feels for a younger guy.  I’d put on my cowboy hat and boots.

wrthirsty

18.   If a random ex (his or mine) shows up after years and thinks it’s still on, (again, after I stop laughing) I’d probably call their family and suggest a psychiatric eval and then take out a restraining order.

crazy girlfriendPacks up and leaves the country without a word,comes back 3 years later and thinks guy is still her boyfriend.

19. I’m pretty sure that leaving the country is not akin to a death or some kind of banishment and that cell phones and the internet work in most countries around the globe, so I’d be like, I’m you’re friend on Facebook and you block me, wtf, dude?

20. There is no way I’d call anyone Oppa or a guy I was dating Manager or Boss, or whatevernim.

21.  I am pretty sure that dating someone that has power over ones job and/or career denotes a lack of real interest in career longevity.  Dating someone that one has power OVER in the workplace is asking for a sexual harassment case and denotes a lack of real interest in career longevity.

pasta1

22.  Yes, psycho that tried to kill me or ruin my career/life I’ll forgive and/or redeem you instead of testifying at your hearing, said me, never.

rooftopsenaThe fires of hell will never burn hot enough.

23. Despite the propensity for “geniuses,” very few K drama lead males seem educated or well read.  And, you know, smart and well read,  that’s really sexy.

boongdoBoong-do, call me.

24. I can’t eat everything in sight and look like a stick insect.

letseat

25. Yes, parent approved psycho that is going to marry the guy I love, I’ll be your best friend/bridesmaid, just to be polite said no one ever. Except Jan-di, but I’m pretty sure she was a masochist.

bofjae

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13 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. NewKDramaAddict
    Dec 22, 2014 @ 15:54:17

    Thanks for the laughs! Sitting here with tears in my eyes! I’m always incredulous about some the scenes that people think are sexy; woman that just don’t get it; or men that are just clueless!! And now that I’ve almost completed Golden Bride, I will be hard pressed to ever watch a romance that doesn’t have at least 1 kiss per 2-3 ep!

    Reply

  2. pinkpodster
    Dec 22, 2014 @ 21:35:18

    Reblogged this on Pinkpodster Ponders and commented:
    This post is too funny. If you’re a k-drama viewer you’ll probably find yourself nodding along. Thanks Oana for sharing this!

    Reply

  3. Kate Brinfour
    Dec 22, 2014 @ 22:47:40

    This was too much of a laugh. If i can get a list of the referenced dramas, that would be nice.

    Reply

    • randomsoju
      Dec 23, 2014 @ 01:34:50

      These are all fairly common k drama tropes found in many dramas. If you are new to kdrama, welcome, and please check out the recommendations page and links page, they should be helpful.

      Specific character/actor/drama references?

      6. Pinnochio
      7.Tomorrow’s Cantabile
      9. Flower Boy Ramyun Shop
      18. My name is Kim Sam Soon
      22.Rooftop Prince
      23. Queen Inhyun’s Man
      24. Boys Over Flowers

      Reply

  4. kaiaraia
    Dec 23, 2014 @ 10:23:11

    What a funny post! Thanks for the laughs. I too often say “Huh?!” or “What the..” yet continue to watch them. Heh 🙂

    Reply

  5. Wendilynn Kerezman
    Dec 23, 2014 @ 11:31:35

    so freaking funny.

    Reply

  6. Caitlyn Burton
    Dec 23, 2014 @ 19:24:55

    “3. I am a poor working class woman and I do not have designer label clothing or the latest cell phone.” You don’t? You’re clearly not doing ‘poor working class woman’ right then!

    That Pinocchio picture, ha! Man, I love Lee Jong Seok so damn much. That scene was pretty funny though; Pinocchio has started its decline now, lol, but I hope they keep up with the daydreams.

    25, Jan Di, oh Jan Di. Well, Makino, really. That was always so stupid, cos like, it’s in the manga as well. She just goes along with whatshername fiancee. Like, what are you doing, idiot!? Just freaking tell her that you used to date her fiancee, who clearly doesn’t care about you at all! And everyone else goes along with it as well!

    Reply

  7. Teleri Ferch Nyfain
    Dec 27, 2014 @ 12:30:38

    I have ALWAYS thought that the girl who was Jung Pyo’s approved fiancee was VERY well suited to him – much more so that stupid girl (Jan Di…) Manga, anime, BoF – same deal in all. Also, in Korean, calling your BF ‘oppa’ is an endearment…

    Reply

    • randomsoju
      Dec 27, 2014 @ 12:50:34

      Thanks for reading the post! I’d argue that Oppa is not an endearment. It’s an honorific for older brother. Regarding using it for someone that is NOT a biological brother or close family friend, it denotes romantic interest in the older male, but it still denotes that the older male has higher social status.

      Reply

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